With my bipolar diagnosis, I have tried to be open and honest about what I deal with and my experiences. I've hoped to be able to help others not be afraid to talk about their situations as mental health still has a huge stigma attached to it. I have used my ability to laugh and my sarcasm to find light and joke about what I deal with. I don't believe it's something to be ashamed about. People are afraid to talk about it because people judge, make assumptions and make us out to be people that need to be in straight jackets and padded rooms. Little do people know, that there are many of us who are able to function day to day; people who regularly take their medications; are able to hold jobs and be good parents. But, no one knows because people are afraid to talk.
I've recently had an experience where I shared that I was bipolar and had voluntarily checked myself into the psych ward as I detoxed off my medications when I found out I was pregnant with kid part 2. This, unfortunately, has come back to kick me in the rear and effect my family. My ability to be a good parent has come into question which leaves me beyond heart broken to the extent that I have no words to explain my sadness. Luckily, I have a multitude of things on my side to back me up with my experiences over the last few months and within the last year. I have multiple people who can attest to my parenting ability and my mental health. With that said, I have decided to stop sharing my experiences online and vocally because having it come back and be used against me has left me in complete disbelief and astonishment.
To those with mental health issues or other health issues, please stay strong. You are not alone. I'm saddened that at this point, I no longer feel like I can share my experiences but need to take care of myself and my family. I am grateful for the support of others have shown me through this blog, private messaging, and in person. Thank you for the opportunity to share and even over share at times, my feelings and experiences throughout my last year. I again, am grateful for the support of friends and family as I have worked hard to work through my disorder and try to share my experience.
My best to all who struggle with similar struggles and situations.
Sincerely,
Allyson
