As I sit here, I'm in the fourth hospital within the last two weeks, third this week in two states with my newborn son. Nothing hurts more than watching your kids suffer. My son has two heart issues, one will hopefully resolve itself within a year, a particially collapsed lung at birth which was inflated easily, and now pyloric stenosis (surgery scheduled soon), my heart has broken more times than I ever imagined possible. I feel useless as I try to take care of my husband and daughter and be with my son unable to do anything. I just have no words how difficult this has been on everyone. Just when I think we're through something, my heart breaks again with something else.
I keep getting told to take care of myself. How do you do that when you're heartbroken and torn in multiple directions. Grateful that I got back on my bipolar meds right after having my son. Don't think I haven't completely lost it more than once, but I know that the meds have helped and am glad.
While at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, MO, we met many families in worse situations and I know it could be worse. This situation hasn't been awesome by any means, though. Love your loved ones, hold them close, tell them you love them.
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